


I Am So Very Confused

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV), Supernatural
Genre: And Has His Mind Forcibly Opened, Crossover, Everyone Is Emotionally Constipated Because It's Television, Holiday World, Humor, M/M, Sam Ships It, Sherlock Doesn't Believe, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-05-13 19:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock takes the case of two American brothers who happen to have a sidekick who went insane six years ago.</p><p>John is not happy.</p><p>Dean and Sam thought they were working a case in Philidelphia, but it was a damn set up.</p><p>Now there's a new demon in town.</p><p>And an archangel who apparrently is not dead.</p><p>Sherlock is still in denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John We Are So Taking This Case

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be fun and I am doing this instead of my homework.

"Sherlock we are NOT taking this case!" John yelled.

"But Johhhhn, I'm booooored!" Sherlock complained like a child, swinging his body so his feet were on the back of the couch and his head dangling down.

"Sherlock. You. Were. Dead. Three days ago!" John rebuted.

"And I'm bored!" Sherlock said back. John groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We can't take a case in America. What about Scotland Yard? What about Mrs. Hudson? I just bought new milk!" John said.

"Mrs. Hudson can take care of herself." Sherlock started, "And furthermore, Scotland Yard has given us access to GO to America to solve this case." 

"FINE. WE'LL GO TO AMERICA AND GET A CAT TOO WHILE WE'RE AT IT!" John said, waving his arms about.

"Okay. Great. Now, you wanna hear about the brothers?" Sherlock asked, face lighting up.

"Fine." John said, 500% done with the situation.

"Well, their names are Sam and Dean Winchester, they have several known aliases, and are seen traveling with a man whose real name is Jimmy Novak, although he calls himself Castiel."

"And why are we going to go on a dangerous and quite possibly suicidal chase after them?" John asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"This is why." Sherlock said, grabbing John's laptop. He typed something in to the Google search bar and a video came up. Sherlock clicked on it and John watched in horror.

"We just wanted the whole world to know what Sam and Dean Winchester are capable of." A tall man who looked like a moose said, before turning around and using his semi-automatic rifle to slaughter everyone in the diner with a shorter man who had green eyes.

"That's everyone." the tall one said.

"Not everyone." the shorter one said, aiming his rifle at the poor boy who was holding the camera. There was a sputter of gunfire and the camera fell to the floor before cutting off.

"And they've never been caught?" John asked.

"Oh they have, but never for long." Sherlock said, bringing up some more documents from Little Rock, Arkansas.

"See? They escaped and blew the whole place to ash, killing about thirty people." Sherlock said. John furrowed his brow in anger.

"When do we leave?" he asked.

"An hour. Pack your bags." Sherlock smiled. John threw his stuff in his suitcase haphazardly, then grabbed his gun, which he wasn't supposed to have, and his cane.

"What's that for?" Sherlock asked.

"Oh, trust me, they'll never suspect a guy with a limp." John said, winking at Sherlock and grinning.

"Well then, let's go!" Sherlock said, grabbing his scarf and already packed bag and racing to a taxi, theme song playing in the background.


	2. Damn Setup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam get b u s t e d, Cas is in tow, and a certain archangel is definitely not dead.

"So get this." Sam said, pointing to his laptop screen.

"It better not be another damn Destiel fanfic." Dean said. Sam chuckled and responded, "Nope. But I did find us a case in Indiana."

"Finally." Dean said happily, "I've been going stir crazy."

"Well, we can't exactly be conspicuous, now can we, what with us being wanted by the FBI and everything." Sam said, sending Dean a pointed glare.

"So I screwed up! Big whoop!" Dean yelled.

"Yeah, because setting yourself up on a dating website with your REAL NAME AND YOUR IMPALA WITH THE LISCENSE PLATE NUMBER WAS A WHOOPSIE MISTAKE!" Sam yelled back. Dean took on a defensive look and pouted. 

A flutter of wings and there was a blue-eyed angel in the motel.

"Hello, I heard you two yelling." he said, looking hurt. Dean wanted to comfort Cas so badly, to hug him. After Lucifer drove Sam insane and Cas transferred Sam's insanity to himself, Dean and Cas had gotten trapped in Purgatory for a year. Cas's mind had healed a little, but never completely. He still despised violence and loved PB&J sandwiches. And bees. He loved bees. But Dean couldn't show affection, Sam would judge him. That would be the last thing he wanted. Unfortunately for Dean, Sam knew about all the secret looks and Dean wanting to show affection and all that. Fortunately for Dean, Sam shipped it so freaking hard.

"Sorry Cas." Dean apologized, turning his attention to the screen of Sam's laptop.

"So in Santa Claus, Indiana, there's a possible shifter case. Look, this man was clearly seen brutally murdering this woman, but here he is buying a fountain drink on the other side of the park." Sam said, pointing to the article.

"Santa Claus?" Dean sniggered.

"Yeah, it's where Holiday World is." Sam said enthusiastically.

"So, what you're telling me is that there's an amusement park, in the middle of nowhere?" Dean asked, highly amused.

"It seems so." Sam said.

"Well then, let's go! How long should this take?" he asked.

"It should take us about three days." Sam said, pulling his duffle bag out from under the bed and hiking it up over his shoulder. Dean grabbed his bag and Cas left with them and sat in the back of the Impala. They drove off towards the sunset and rode through the night to the middle of nowhere.


	3. Santa Claus. Yes, It's A Real Place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smol story time; we visit Santa Claus all the time- we have relatives there. Regardless, if you find any inaccuracies I would love to hear about it, feedback is awesome, I love you guys!

"Okay, and you are-?" Sherlock looked the man up and down.

"Agent Harkness." the agent displayed his badge.

"I am Sherlock Holmes and this is-"

"John Watson. I'm well aware." Harkness' face became almost bored looking, "And I'm completely obligated to say we'd love to have you help on the case- although I'm not obligated to say we may actually need your help on this. Last two guys who were assigned this case wound up dead."

"How?" John pried.

"Blown up. Dean and Sam escaped." Harkness shrugged. John let out a low whistle- he'd known about the incident, just not what it had cost.

"Well? What's the plan?" Sherlock asked.

"We follow the license plates." Harkness' face resumed looking at his computer. It lit up after about thirty minutes of sitting. And sitting. And some standing on Sherlock's part.

"Aha!" Harkness made a happy noise and clicked on a link, then furrowed his brow in confusion. His face became an obvious mask of horror.

"They're heading to an... amusement park." John nearly snarled at Harkness' words.

"We'll go by plane." Sherlock decided. John rolled his eyes and the two picked their bags back up and waddled off, Harkness following.

"Where is it?" Sherlock inquired as they loaded their bags into the trunk of a rented car.

"Santa Claus, Indiana." Harkness smiled at the memories.

"There's- what?" John's brow furrowed.

"Yes, it's a real place." Harkness rolled his eyes in a perfect mimicry of John. The three set off towards the airport, to stand in lines for the next hour- much to Sherlock's complaining- and then putter off in a jet towards the small town almost hiding an amazing amusement park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfg this is short- I pinky promise once the plot picks up the chapters will be longer.


	4. Water Slides- The New Bane Of Cas' Existence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and Castiel have fun at an amusement park because I think they deserve it.

"So..." Sam looked around the scene. With no yellow tape.

"What." Dean asked, eye twitching.

"Oh! You must have gone on the internet." a blond-haired woman approached them, "Sorry to tell ya- video's fake."

"Oh." Cas responded first, ready to snap them out of there when the blonde left them alone.

"Wait!" Dean said happily, "We can't leave- they have the world's biggest water slide here!"

"Dean." Sam sighed, but dug the swim trunks out of their bag.

"What?" Dean asked. Cas picked up some trunks that Dean had chosen for him and scrutinized them.

"We'll have fun, Sammy. You remember fun, don't you?" Dean grinned cheekily as his brother mockingly punched him. The three set off towards the locker room and rented their own locker. Dean hopped into a stall, desperately trying not to think about Cas changing in the one _right next to him_.

"Who's ready to go on the Mammoth?" Dean grinned and stepped out of the locker room. They walked a little ways and found themselves at the entrance.

"Let's go!" Dean urged. The three stepped into the lobby, and a group of people in a raft went over the edge just as Dean, Sam, and Cas made their way into the lobby-type-area.

"It's a giant conveyor belt." Sam noticed. And it was, a giant conveyor belt.

"No shit, Sherlock. Now get on, bitch." Dean's grin grew and Sam and Cas sat down in the octagonal raft.

"Dean, I don't like this." Cas said nervously.

"Aw, c'mon, Cas, it'll be fun." Dean smiled more genuinely at Cas, and Sam had to physically hold himself back from squealing.

"There!" a tall-ish (still not taller than Sam, obviously) man in swim trunks- which he had protested to, believe me- followed by a shorter man in a swim shirt and trunks. They ran onto the raft, and Sam and Dean and Cas tried to escape, but it was too late. John and Sherlock fastened their seatbelts and waited for the ride to get going and over with.

"Dean-" Cas started, but screamed when the ride dropped over the first hill. There was chlorinated water everywhere and it was dark and, "DEAN!"

"What, Cas?" Dean sighed, pretending that his stomach wasn't dropping whenever the raft was launched into the air- the really, really dark air. Sam's ride was being ruined by the short man currently bitchfacing him- not to say he didn't glare back. Sherlock looked uncharacteristically terrified and was paler than usual.

"DEAN!" Cas shrieked again when the ride took a particularly sharp drop. Dean soon found cold hands grabbing his torso and Cas' body pressed up against his own.

"Cas, let go." Dean instructed, but latched on when the ride was- oh God- launched in the air for a stunning thirty seconds.

"Nevermind." Dean squealed.

"These- THESE ARE THE SERIAL KILLERS YOU MADE US GO ACROSS THE ATLANTIC FOR?" John yelled, "I mean, the one on the right seems vaguely threatening, but these two-"

"Aren't killers, are you?" Sherlock asked evenly. It would've taken an expert- or John- to notice the way Sherlock's voice sounded even more robotic than usual.

"Finally." Sam sighed.

"What _are_ you talking about, Sherlock?" John asked, confused, "Remember the cabbie?"

"Of course I remember the cabbie, John." Sherlock rolled his eyes, even knowing that nobody could see him, "But think about it. The killing starts _before_ they get here, and stops just before they leave."

"I can hear you rolling your eyes." John sighed, "And, remember that video footage?"

"Do these people strike you as the kind of people to mass-murder an entire restaurant?" Sherlock gestured to the two- currently screaming and violently hugging- people.

"Well-" John tried to find a reason.

"Leviathans." Sam said evenly, "With DNA they can shape-shift."

"Nevermind." Sherlock said, mildly surprised, "These people are completely crazy."

"Thank you." John said as the ride came to a halt.

"Shit shit shit shitshitshit." Sam said, leaping from the raft and dashing towards the locker room.

"Dean, I can't- as you would put it- 'mojo' us out of here." Cas said worriedly, the two following Sam to the locker room.

"FREEZE." a strong voice commanded.

"Shit." Sam cursed, dropping to his knees. Dean followed suit but Cas honestly had no idea what to do.

"ON YOUR KNEES." the voice said, and a relatively handsome man stepped out of the shadows, holding a handgun.

"I don't see why-" Cas started, confused, when the sound of a bullet rang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my lovelies. This chapter was terribly short too- they didn't even eat a funnel cake! I'm sorry again for the short chapters (and the cliffhanger) but it takes some time to think of the plot points for me (writing them out takes no time at all). Thank you for sticking with me and a shout-out to everyone thus far who has commented! I love you all!


	5. Another Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go to shit. That's the best way to describe the chapter.

Cas doubled over, hands clutching at the red streaming out of the hole in his stomach.

"Cas!" Dean gasped, rushing to his side. Harkness raised his gun again, "I. SAID. _FREEZE_."

"Cassie!" another voice, one that was achingly familiar to Sam, cried, rushing to his side.

"Gabriel." Dean hissed, "What are you doing?" Dean's stance became defensive, protecting the injured angel.

"Helping my little brother, you gigantic dick, what's it look like I'm doing?" Gabriel replied, crouching down, tears streaming silently down his face after the outburst.

"Sorry." Dean apologized genuinely when he saw that Gabriel wanted to help.

"HANDS. UP!" Harkness screamed.

"Really? I have to deal with him, too? Tell ya' what. Sammich-" Gabriel snapped his fingers distractedly, "Take care of Stick-Up-His-Ass. I made sure he doesn't have any weapons." and indeed, the Detective's gun and Taser has magically disappeared.

"That's-" Sherlock tried desperately to wrap his mind around the situation. Harkness was confused for a second, before trying to defend himself against Sam's attacks (non-lethal, of course), Gabriel's Grace was streaming from his fingertips and attempting to heal his little brother while muttering constant apologies- and something about how 'he'd just wanted Cas to have some fun'-, Dean clutching Cas' hand like a worried boyfriend, and John looking just as confused as Sherlock.

"Impossible." John finished, as the bullet hole seemed to seal itself completely on its own.

"There has to be a scientific explanation behind this." Sherlock murmured to himself.

"Hello, I'm an angel." Gabriel deadpanned, showing off his wings.

"Bloody hell." John cursed, pulling his hair.

"There has to be a scientific explanation behind this." Sherlock repeated.

"Sorry, he's just-"

"A complete and utter idiot?" Sam finished, dropping Harkness onto the ground, out cold.

"Exactly." John smiled, before realizing exactly _who_ he was speaking to.

"I know that look." Sam sighed, "And you just saw what Gabriel can do. There's no reason for leviathans not to exist."

"I know, I know." John said in realization, "It's just, after living with Sherlock for so long, one gets used to the notion that supernatural creatures do not exist."

"Yeah, well, welcome to our-" the lights flickered.

"Oh, shit." Sam panicked. There was a still-injured angel on the floor and the FBI almost definitely on their way, and-

"Oh, hello, Sherly. Hi, again." a voice echoed throughout the locker room, making Sherlock's face contort into one of surprise and fear.

"And I must say, if anything, this time you owe me." the voice laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there
> 
> are you happy
> 
> _are you fucking happy_


	6. Sherlock Needs To Take A Chill Pill

"You- you're dead!" Sherlock's voice shook with disbelief.

"And I was under the impression that you were too, Sherly my dear." the man gave a little jump and a bow.

"Okay, hold the phone." Gabriel had a trivial look on his face, "So, from what I'm gathering, he-" he pointed to the new man, "Told the other-" his other hand was pointed at Sherlock, "To jump off of a building-"

"How did you know that?" John asked, but was cut off.

"Don't interrupt." Gabriel smiled, "Now, he survives, _somehow_ , honestly even I'm not sure how-"

"It was me." Cas raised his hand timidly.

"What." John was dumbfounded.

"That's nice, Cassie," Gabriel commented distractedly, "And he shoots himself in the face."

"How do you know this?!" Moriarty exclaimed, looking excited.

"I'm an angel, duh." Gabriel rolled his eyes, "And, ignoring any other distractions, you were sent to Hell for obvious reasons, but then Big Bro Luci decides it's time for the Consulting Criminal to return."

"How does he know this?!" all three Brits turned to Sam, Cas, and a mildly traumatized Dean.

"He's an angel." Sam deadpanned, "Duh."

"Not possible." Sherlock dismissed the notion, "He's dead, you're all insane, he's still bleeding out, we're on some sort of hallucinogen."

"Sherlock..." John said, but Sherlock wasn't paying any attention.

"Sherlock." John said more forcefully, but Sherlock had retreated into his Mind Palace. What John did next would have Sherlock reeling for _days_. John leaned over and pulled Sherlock into a forceful kiss.

"John. What are you doing?" Sherlock asked when John broke the kiss, blushing.

"Nothing." John's blush deepened.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Sherlock asked, bemused, and pulling John in for another chaste kiss.

"While this is all very touching-" Moriarty didn't finish his sentence. In a combined power, both Cas and Gabriel stood up, hands outstretched. Their palms and eyes were glowing, and their 'wing shadows' were visible. A yellow-ish light flickered out of Moriarty's body, pulsing and radiating until it just... stopped.

"Well, it seems we've done it." Sherlock sighed, "Now there's two men, on the run for something they didn't do, and pretty soon _we're_ going to be fugitives."

"Hang on." Dean smiled, "Can I just-" before he finished his sentence, Cas had his hands pressed flat on both of their faces.

"Awww," Dean whined, "I wanted to knock them out!"

"Well, a nice substitute for that might be running." Sam pointed out, sprinting out of the park, before the feds could arrive.

"FREEZE."

"Goddammit." Sam cursed, dropping to his knees. Dean, and this time Cas too, followed suit.

"Let the moose go." Gabriel said calmly.

"Nobody move! Flat on the ground!" the orders came swift and sharp. Dean and Sam and Cas were lying on their stomachs.

"I said, let the moose go." Gabriel said, a bit more forcefully, stretching out his palm.

"You have three seconds before we shoot the tall one!" a man with a SWAT vest on said.

"Okay then." there was a flash of light, and the four had disappeared.


	7. Home Stretch

They landed back at the motel.

"Uh, did you have to zap _them_ over here?" Dean asked, getting off of the poorly carpeted floor. He gestured to Sherlock and Watson, who were still passed out.

"Oops." Gabriel shrugged, "Guess even archangels make mistakes sometimes."

"So... job well done?" Sam shrugged after an uncomfortable silence.

"I suppose," Dean shrugged back.

"Although, I think this could've been wrapped up in one chapter." Gabriel glared at the author.

"What are you doing?" Cas glared at Gabriel.

"Nothing," Gabriel took a sip of coffee. I don't remember him getting coffee.

"Why are we here? Could you not have just left us at the amusement park?" John groaned, face-down on the carpet.

"Sorry, my bad, I'll take you back," Gabriel said, snapping his fingers before John or Sherlock could protest.

.o0o.

"And now for the heart-to-heart. I don't wanna miss that." Gabe said in dismissal, snapping himself back to the motel. John groaned again, and he and Sherlock walked out of the theme park with wild hair and wrinkled clothes. Something changed between them. Sherlock seemed to become, if this was possible, _clingier_ to John after the kiss, although Sherlock often said he didn't much like kissing, or anything beyond that, for that matter.

.o0o.

"So, you and Cas were very touchy back there," Sam smirked at Dean's affronted face.

"Is that abnormal?" Cas asked curiously, peering at Dean.

"Yeah. Especially for Mr. Bottle-Up-Your-Feelings-Forever." Sam said pointedly.

"It's a nice system," Dean shrugged, taking a sip of beer.

"It's unhealthy as fuck." Sam replied, crossing his arms.

"Fine. Y'know what? Fine. I'll tell you- I love Cas. Okay? _Is that good enough?_ " Dean hissed at Sam, waiting for the backlash.

"Thank you." Sam said, muttering, "Finally."

"Uh-"

"You're wondering why I'm not freaking out. Well, on top of the fact that you two are completely love-eyes for each other- I'm not blind-, I'm not a total bigot." Sam said, "Now, are you two going to awkwardly make out or what?"

"Someone's eager," Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'll go sit in Baby." Sam rolled his eyes back and left. Dean shrugged and approached Cas.

"Good a time as any." Dean said, bringing his head forward and kissing the angel.

It was almost magical- kissing as the sun sets in a shitty motel, drapes creating shadows on the floor. They were lost in time.

"What did I just walk in to?" Gabriel asked loudly, wrinkling his nose.

"Way to ruin the moment," Sam chided, walking in.

**Author's Note:**

> Potato


End file.
